i am afraid and you

I stand on a hallway, looking at the crowds shuffling in. I see the fools rushing in, the cool people taking their time. I don't belong with them or any group of people. I feel completely empty inside. A hollow shelf, needing books to fill it up. I search for the books to complete my being.
I want to share my darkest and best feelings with you, but i can't. I am so insecure. I am afraid of people mocking me and not caring about me. You are a figure of hope and desire. You are what I try to understand, but I can't begin to explore you without me knowing myself. I only need to be left alone with you, or away from everyone. Some place I can admire and look within myself and see what I am lacking compared to you. I am just sure about my anger and sadness, the cruel mistresses that control every single thing i do. Every day, every hour, every painful second, they start consuming me. They eat away, they leave a corpse rotting with insecurities and faults. I will never be able to find what I am lacking. My soul gets smaller after every passing month, I am afraid that I'll become smaller too until I disappear.

some people won't like this

I feel rather sad tonight, i don't want to lose hope alright.
The house is dark under the stars so bright.
my lonely silhouette, such a sad sight. The people, they are such a fright.
I coward in dark day. I won't go, i won't stay.
I am devoured by such contradictions.
my body wants to get some addictions
some robotic additions
turn me into a cyborg
turn me into a cyborg.
I've had enough emotions to last
from the the future to the past.

I am the man

I am the man with the permanent bad mood
the one who is always rude
the one who barely smiles
the one laying on the tiles
under the pool water
the one that who doesn't matter
the one you forget
the one little regret
the one haunting your mind
the one you can't find
even if i am the man
in your coffee can
in your water bottle
the ten thousand people dead in a battle